Humorous words to live by upgrade#

That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” -Mickey Rooney I hope he changes all of mine one day…” -Kristen Bell

“I’d like to publicly thank my husband for changing half the diapers in our house.

'I married for love, but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.' -Cameron Esposito.

“Make sure you have date night even if it's once in a blue moon because most of the time you’re just too tired and you’d actually prefer to sleep.' -Chris Hemsworth.

“People say, 'Jeez, it must be hard to stay married in show business.' I think it's hard to stay married anywhere, but if you marry the right person, it might work out.” -Tom Hanks.

No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.' -Megan Mullally

“Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse.

If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!' -Dame Julie Andrews

'Marriage is like a graph-it has its ups and downs, and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage.

“Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy.” -Goldie Hawn.

If we were in high school and I was just funny, I'd never have the courage to talk to her.' -Tom Hanks I still can't believe my wife goes out with me.

'Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up.

And I should be committed, too-for being married so many times.” - Elizabeth Taylor

She's the most beautiful Denny's you've ever seen though, I guarantee it.” -Ryan Reynolds

“I'm just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she's breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad, and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat.” ―Mindy Kaling

“I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night.

“A man's main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.' -Dax Shepard.

'Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.' -Will Ferrell.

If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeckīrides / Mehroz Kapadia Funny Marriage Quotes from Actors and Actresses

Humorous words to live by upgrade#

'Michelle’s like Beyoncé in that song, ‘Let me upgrade ya!’ She upgraded me.' -Barack Obama.“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” -Winston Churchill.'A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married.“ My wife didn't take my name, which isn't weird, but what's weird is when people think it's weird, like we're on a first-name basis anyway.” -Mark Agee.“Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces marriage is also three meals a day and remembering to carry the trash out.” -Joyce Brothers.So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that.' -Barack Obama 'After about 15 years I finally figured out that she's always right.

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.” -George Bernard Shaw.And, so far, it’s working.” -Justin Timberlake The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. “We have a couple of rules in our relationship.If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.” -Socrates

If you get a good wife, you will be happy.

'Because I always say, if you're married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you're doing really good!' -Michelle Obama.

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” -Prince Philip.

Because I got to marry you.' -Chip Gaines

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” -Benjamin Franklin.

“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” -H.

Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’” -Michelle Obama When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.

“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms.

Brides / Mehroz Kapadia Funny Marriage Quotes from Public Figures